Signs Of A Destructive Relationship: How Lust Can Bring Out The Worst
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Signs Of A Destructive Relationship: How Lust Can Bring Out The Worst

Why lust is not love and why it can bring out the worst in people.

When you fall in love, you are actually in a state of mental illness. Your brain starts functioning differently and is more focused at one person than on so many other things that might be important in your life.

This is normal, since in nature, we are like any other animal, that needs to breed, in order to maintain the species. So falling in love, is a sign of lust and it is nature, not a big spiritual or romantic thing. No, it is pure animalistic attraction, which can lead to destructive behavior, from fighting to murder.

In nature animals might fight and kill each other, to get their mate. But among humans, we have cultivated our lust and named it love. In many cultures and religions, lust between a man and a woman is only seen as right, when it is a blessed union for God and/or law. In any other circumstances it is seen as the work of the Devil or evil and you may understand why, if you read on.

Real love between a man and a woman is possible, but many of those relationships are based on lust and animalstic attraction. When you want somebody to get married and have children of just somebody to sleep with, you are just following your natural physical needs. Nothing spiritual about it, but pure selfishness.

Now animals might not have a moral code like we do. We understand that killing a love opponent is wrong. Or we should understand, since most of us do know the grief a death can cause and also sympathize with the loved ones of the person you would kill.

You also realize that you will hurt the person you actually love and would have wanted a relationship with and know it is not the right action, only in seldom cases will people really kill for love. Yes, lust can bring out the beast in all of us. That is why it is not love.

We consider it criminal behavior to kill somebody out of passion, while it is just nature. We all have a need to mate, even if you do not like to have kids, you still long for a partner and have your instinct. Since not all people have a partner to fulfill these needs, some people might get frustated and frustration causes harm and sexual abuse.

People who really want a mate, but cannot get one that wants them back, might start to get dominant and lose their moral senses. They might stop empthazing and cause severe damage to others. Lust for those people has become a tool of power and dominance and not of care and love anymore. Usually they have become this way, because of the harm others have caused them, because of many rejections, unfulfilled dreams and a lost sense of reality.

Or you might like to kill the person you want, out of jealousy, because this person had not picked you, no matter how much you loved him or her.

Now it does not have to so dramatic. Sometimes, when your feelings get replied, you also find out that lust makes a person selfish. People that are normally social and kind, can become rude and arrogant while in a relationship.

We like to make clear we are taken, by wearing wedding bands or by neglecting other people that might have been great love candidates. You wipe off all who might be romantically interested in you or your partner and this can also lead to a social isolation of a couple.

In the beginning it might be seen as normal that a couple in love wants to be together, likes to spend a lot of time getting to know each other better more private and intimate, but when you start cutting all your friends and relatives out of your life, or all those who might not like your partner, you might have lost your safety net, when the relationship ends.

When the brain chemistry has worked out and the person remains, you may have to witness all you have sacrificed for it and what it was really worth. A couple might find a compromise and stay together, mainly for social reasons, but the question is, if they remain happy.

Yes, there are some happy couples that stand the test of time, but for any successful relationship, there are several broken hearts and not all get the loving caring family they might have longed for.

It is a myth that there is somebody for anybody or that when you truly love somebody, this person will love you back. You can only love yourself and make the best of what life offers you, without hanging on to romantic Hollywood fantasies.

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Comments (5)

This is very true. In all honesty, man sometimes mistake lust for love and make the worst mistake in their life. Man and woman alike sometimes do not know what is real love. Love is really that confusing. OMG!

Never did believe in fairy tales. Interesting point of view. I guess I must still be in lust then after 15 years with the same man and 4 children later!

Must be real love, Lisa. This is not destructive and can happen as well. I wrote about simple lust here and why people might mistake it for your situation. ;)

Phew! I was worried for a second there!

daisy st patience

This is so very true. I was in a dump for being heart broken, and can't see thing clearly... All I did was feeling miserable and unwanted. But now that I can put my logic back, all these you said makes sense :)