Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid of Making Commitments and Getting Married
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Reasons Why Some Men Are Afraid of Making Commitments and Getting Married

Some men shy away from making marriage commitments for a number of reasons. As long as these reasons exist, the most caring man in the world will still shy away from making a proposal.

No matter how much a man claims to love you, when it finally boils down to making a marriage commitment they suddenly get jelly feet. Why? Why is it that some men are really scared of settling down into holy matrimony? How come that some men are ready to spend quality time with you but are not ready to commit? These questions, as strange as they might appear to a man, are rather puzzling to the female folks.

Why Men are Scared of Making Commitments

Though this list is not exhaustive, these are the most common reasons why some men hesitate from making marriage commitments.

• The issue of restricted freedom

Some men feel that marriage is a restraint to their freedom. They would no longer have that freedom of hanging out with their friends at odd hours because they had to grow up. Men, being such big babies find it a big deal to have to step into such matured shoes. The fact remains that when you get married, you can’t just leave your wife at home while you go clubbing with your bachelor friends. Such marriage will most likely end up on the rocks. For this singular reason some men run from marriage.

• The financial obligations

This is one other factor that scares some men from ever thinking of settling down in marriage. When such men think about the financial aspect of taking care of a family, they believe they are just not ready. They believe that getting married will entail taking care of not just the lady’s financial needs but her family’s as well.

• Being tied down to just one woman for the rest of your life

Men are scared of being tied down to just one woman for the rest of their life. This is especially true with men that have been around; I am talking about men that have dated a string of women. As bachelors, they believe that they can be free to date any number of ladies. They believe that one woman cannot satisfy their sexual urges. For such men, sticking to just one woman amidst millions of women in the world is just too much for them to handle. So, they want to take their time; enjoy themselves and experiment before thinking about making marriage commitments.

• Fear of heartbreaks/divorce

Perhaps, having witnessed the traumas and pains that go with divorce settlements and separated spouses, they shy away from marriage. The thought of marriage alone irritates them. Men in this category prefer a detached relationship where no strings are attached.

As long as a man has any of these notions in mind, it is going to be difficult to make such a man make a marriage commitment.

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Comments (16)

Hummm . . .

Sums it up well. Bottom line, because they have not grown up yet. Whether male or female, those who feel this way, as stated in this article, need to stay single.

So, it's as simple as maturity: having not "grown up"?

Commitment is a serious matter, but most men ...grown and matured.....know that its part of growing up and accpts it when it comes. Dear James and Linda, thanks for your comments and opinions

Good article, the high number of divorced people around the world could show a high number who have not yet reached maturity to commit themselves in this way.

thanks John for your observation. The issue of commitment is sadly taken by many with trifle hands.

Nice Article! You know one of the reasons why married women are frustrated today is because their husbands don't have vision or dreams. Woman was created and designed by God to help man to fulfill his vision and dreams. Single men were scared because they still don't know their God -given purpose and vision. They still don't know where to go and what bright future they can give to their wives and children.

Thanks Diaz for the comment. Men afraid of commitments are not worth a womans time; i wish all women will know that.

Since the category here is "psychology," it might be prudent to point out that in many cases, commitment is not an option for some men (or some women). It is not a willful, personal choice, but a factor of personality involving chemical make-up and environment that simple desire cannot not change.

Dear James, good to read your views again. They are always so enlightening. Actually you are not far from the truth since fear of commitments is rooted in past experiences which were'nt pleasant. I say it's a psychological defect because it ought not to be so. A man was created to have a life partner, not just for procreation but for companionship. Where this is lacking, then the man is not yet complete.

As a psychologist, I would have to say that while I can understand your perception, you are only half correct (psychologically speaking). While there is every indication that we are social animals in need of on-going animal contact, there is nothing to indicate that “man was created to have a life partner, not just for procreation but for companionship,” nor any proof that lack of the ability to commit (“commit” carrying a highly subjective definition that varies culture to culture) in indicative of something relating to “completion.” By the time a male (or female) has reached maturity or “adulthood,” they have already been subjected to so many experiences and stimuli--good and bad--coupled with their individual chemical make-up--that levels of commitment are already individualized, personal, and engrained. We may wish to believe we should all be designed to “commit” in the sociological sense, but in reality, we are not. And there’s nothing lacking or abnormal about it.

Dear James, I learnt quite alot from your comment. Thanks for your views once again; never knew you were a psychologist. I guess that's another plus in your intellectual bank. Speaking from the African perspective, Nigerian being the case here, a man not ready to commit in marriage, when every other things like financial capabilty is in place, is not just viewed as immature but with the eyes of an outcast from his immediate family and society at large. Here in Nigeria, you witness 13 yrs old women...did I just say women...girls getting married. Divorce rate is extremely low in Nigeria and abhored.

I agree with Linda. If they haven't grown up yet it's time to move on and find one who has.

Thanks Ann, been a while. Your article piece on the highest bathtub was immensely informative, I must say. I quite agree with you and Linda. No need wasting time on a man who doesn't appreciate you enough to commit, especially when you do want to commit. You will only get hurt; the next thing would be to move on.

Nice post Daniel, men are not the only ones with commitment issues, some women have problems regarding these issues.

Thanks for sharing Hyatt. Some womenfolk put all the blame on us; and like Akon we just accept.