How to Forgive Anyone
There are many reasons why you may hold a grudge against a person in your life, whether an ex, a friend, a family member, or a stranger, and many reasons why you need to forgive them.
When you hold anger inside, it eats away at you, bringing demons of pain into your life for no good purpose, so you do have to learn how to forgive someone for ruining your life, or perhaps recognize that they didn't really ruin it.
The main thing to keep in mind is that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, and it doesn't mean that you forget what happened, condone it, or will allow it to happen again.
You must recognize that people make mistakes, and that it makes almost as much sense holding anger towards people as towards the weather when a hurricane strikes.
Why do I say that? Because people are a product of their genetics and environment, and while the idea of free will is one way of looking at things, the scientific way of looking at a person is that they were destined to live their whole life exactly the way it turned out due the simple process of cause and effect.
While chaos theory suggests that unpredictable changes are always taking place at a quantum level, such as the flapping of a butterfly's wings causing a hurricane on the other side of the world, this can still not be blamed on any one individual.
Religion may have a different view, but in my opinion religion is simply a well-intended, man-made factor of the environment which helps people to make what is considered by tradition the "right" decision.
The law is there to discourage acts of malice and murder, and you must think very carefully before considering any sort of personal revenge.
So Should You Forgive Someone for Ruining Your Life?
The obvious answer is yes, you should forgive, because it makes no sense to bother yourself with feelings of anger, but then there is the possibility that the person who hurt you may do it again to someone else.
What do you do if the law cannot deter a criminal? What should you do if a person spends their whole life causing suffering, and has no redeeming qualities of any kind?
The next thing you should ask yourself is why should you care? But if you do, you may perhaps embark on a mission of righteous war, to rid the world of a menacing threat.
It is important not to ruin your own life in the attempt to make the world a better place, but perhaps with good planning, and a just and noble cause, there is a time and a place for revenge.
Keep in mind, that even the person who is ruining your life has feelings which have just as much validity as those of anyone else, even though they may do terrible things.
In the end, I only aim to convince you that the ultimate goal is to relieve suffering, and live in peace. As much as is possible.