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The Negative Effects of Technology on Relationships

This article describes some of the obvious problems concerning technology and dating in modern times.

As a single girl in her late twenties, I can freely inform you that technology has had a devastating effect on my romances (or lack thereof). However, what I am not able to establish is exactly why this has occurred. One would think that with social networking sites and cell phones, that it would be easier to find love in the 21st century. Speaking for myself and I'm sure MANY others, the technology boom has made it significantly more challenging to find love.

My first question is this: Whatever happened to a good old fashioned phone call? It seems now that people think texting is the best way to communicate with their love interest. This is not true. A text is informal as well as completely unintimate. Also, it is incredibly hard to really understand the meaning of what someone is saying without a facial expression or vocal tone to accompany it. I can't stand the excuse of "well, I hate talking on the phone." That tells me that I'm just not important enough for you to take five minutes out of your day for a little chat. For men and women everywhere, if you really care and want to get to know that someone more, quit texting and dial their number. The unexpected surprise might even brighten their day. Also, when did it become acceptable to text or receive phone calls while on a date? I once went out with a guy who answered his phone and was extremely rude to the person on the other side of the call. After hanging up he informed me it was "some girl he once dated." It's disgusting that people think that it is impressive that your ex not only calls you, but that you can be a grade a jerk to them as well. Put your cell phone on vibrate or better yet do the unthinkable and turn it off. You will not impress your date by how many texts and calls you receive during dinner.

My second question is this: Do you really have 745 friends? When you first meet someone there is no greater turn-off than seeing a Facebook or MySpace page where the person has more "friends" than you. Also, it is very unnerving to read a comment from a girl "friend" on you boy's page saying "hey babe, miss you xoxo." If I had it my way, I would never have to see my date's Facebook or MySpace page. It creates rifts and distrust in any relationship. Don't get me wrong, social networking has improved our ability to keep in touch with old friends and family members. However, it has made dating a virtual web of confusion and doubt. I don't care how secure you are with yourself, it will annoy you seeing comments from members of the opposite sex on their profile and not knowing who they are. It doesn't matter that your significant other probably really doesn't know them either.

Somehow chivalry has left the building in the 21st century. Remember when men actually picked their dates up at their house? Does anyone remember the last time they received a handwritten letter from their boyfriend/girlfriend? I am sorry, but an e-card is not exactly the same thing. Technology was meant to make our lives easier instead of more complicated. For dating and relationships, it has had a very bad effect. I say we all take a few minutes, turn off the computer and the Blackberry and just look at the person we care about. Even though we have come to depend on these items I guarantee you your significant other will feel like the most treasured person in the world if you leave her a post-it on her desk saying "I love you." It means so much more than a text saying "I luv u."

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Comments (2)

I like your article, you are thinking just like me, I really hate text messages, e-cards, and there are more, online games with chat, social networks, but... it's a "modern world" my boyfriend said, I think is a little to much for me. Great article, thank you so much.

This is a very good article, this goes not only with romantic relationships but also in general. Technology has advantages and disadvantages but still, traditional social communications are still best of being more personalized and sincere ones.

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