I'm hurting and I can't hide it, he's aware. I do try to act "fine" but every time I do that I hurt more, I get a huge lump on my throat and a piercing pain in between my shoulders, worse, I cry. OMG, do I have to let him see my heartache or hide it?
If you're going to move ahead from your relationship then you should get over the emotions. If you wish to stick with that relationship then sure, show your emotions. From what I can gather from your question is that you're still interested in relationship and it shows in your action and you're unaware of it. If it's not possible due to practical reasons then it is better to get over it as soon as possible. It's not easy but you can take small steps and slow down your emotions.
" If it's not possible due to practical reasons then it is better to get over it as soon as possible. It's not easy but you can take small steps and slow down your emotions."
Thanks Mahesh......I'm falling in the statement above( irreconcilable), however I did realise that when i don't see him I become fine. I will take those small steps.
Though parting ways is always painful, once you have decided in favor of it, then there is no meaning in showing emotions.You must be bold and ready to face the challenges that lie ahead.Be ready to take the things on its stride.
I understand what you're going through, Nkhabele. Of course it is normal to feel sad about what happened. It's okay to feel unhappy. Just be sure you know your limit, just be sure you've set time for it. Say, for a couple of weeks or more, as long as other aspects of your life are not affected. Some things just never turn out well despite the efforts. A friend of mine once told me this, "A heartbreak isn't bad at all because it might save you from future worse problems and conflicts with another person."
Feel the feeling, acknowledge the emotion. Remember the feeling when you were in love, and probabaly thinking that it'd be forever. Sadness is the same, sooner or later, it will pass by. Everything is like a cloud. If he sees you crying, so be it. The person who truly deserves you is someone who would appreciate you and treat you as a treasure worth keeping. Try to be thankful. Why? Because as early as now, you've saved yourself from worse scenarios, you've saved yourself from the person who was not able to keep you and reciprocate what you've shown and given.
Breaking up of a relationship is really very much painful and it is hard enough to hide your emotions before him. But when you have decided to get out of the relation (or you are compelled to do so), you should try more and more to push those kind of feelings away as soon as possible. And what I believe, if you show your feelings, it will be more tough for him to go away from you. Because it is very tough to go far away from one whom one loves. If he get disappointed on you or start hating you (it hears very cruel, but it is really true), it will be a little bit easy for him to get out of the relationship. And I think you also want him to be ok again and come back to his normal life.
Breaking up is really hard and being emotional or hurtful about it is natural. Whether you show such emotion or not depends on the situation.
From your statement, it appears that you are still in love with him. Then it would be fine if you show hurt or sadness. It might actually cause a change of heart for him and eventually, he might find ways to get you back.
On the other hand, you might still be in love with him but do not want him back. That could be the case (say the relationship is not worth saving anymore). Then do not show you are hurting or weakness. Avoid crossing paths with him. As soon as possible, forget him, forget all about him, and forget everything that reminds you of him.
Thanks fellows,,,,, one day at a time.